CLAUDIO MENNA
CLAUDIO MENNA
CLAUDIO MENNA
"LOBOS"
In the last years beheading of several criminal families related to Camorra System brought kids – as sons or grandchildren – taking power to control their business. Hungry to show their value and potential they created small and big group of "soldiers" known by media as "Baby gangs". With no rules and no mercy they always move in packs, often they rob and attack with the only sadistic taste to do it. In the last years in Naples there have been dozens of attacks against teenagers with a ferociy and brutality too similar to that of Roberto Saviano’s TV show “Gomorra”. First of them were sons - or related - to criminal leaders detained for life sentences or decades in prison; in a short while their attitude made a strange trend where kids and teens from difficult areas of the city turned themselves in baby gangsters following those behaviors of violence and anger, although they did not belong to criminal traditions.
On september 2015 during a "stesa" - a criminal attack made by young members of baby gangs which shoot with automatic weapons on air, forcing people to throw spread on ground (litterally "stesi al suolo") the young Gennaro Cesarano - a 16 yo teen from Rione Sanità - was accidentally killed. His death brought between the youngest of neighborhood, his closed friends, a wave of haterd difficult to be curbed. Associations, Ngo's and volunteers started an hard work to avoid a new kind of war, different from those made by Camorra leaders in '80s. A war without any kind of rules, and ethical limits.
Rione Sanità is a popular and historical district of Naples located inside the city belly, known by most for the every day news about criminal organizations, drugs dealing, murders and baby gangs, as almost every popular districts in Naples. Despite its recent emancipation where cultural aggregation points and associations are working hard to take away kids from streets and from a marked path, it’s always an unresolved issue. Total absence of government’s authorities creates for decades inside “Rione Sanità” a parallel world where survival entrusted to common sense often trampled by crime and their way to promise easy money for all neighborhood’s kids, for them indispensable as dealers or sentinels.
After the tv show “Gomorra”, crime and criminals have been projected in common imaginary as “Guest Stars”, stereotypes and model to follow for all those kids without any family support.
"Lobos" is a report started several years ago about last generation of kids and teens born after 2000's inside Rione Sanità, my mother's neighborhood; the main actors of this story are all connected directly or indirectly to what happened few years ago to Gennaro Cesarano, a 16yo teen accidentally mourdered during a criminal attack made by teens of a rival district.
"Lobos" is an anthropological report about the main cause which lead youngest who live in a popular neighborhood as Rione Sanità to take criminal paths. I tried to investigate - diving myself in this reality - how the absence of Government and Municipality affect their lives, made mostly, by family issues, school dropout, bad habits, traditions, religion and paganism, fake myths, smoke sellers and dealers of illusions. (Photo and text © Claudio Menna)
From Invisible Cities of Italo Calvino:
The inferno of the living is not something that will be; if there is one, it is what is already here, the inferno where we live every day, that we form by being together. There are two ways to escape suffering it. The first is easy for many: accept the inferno and become such a part of it that you can no longer see it. The second is risky and demands constant vigilance and apprehension: seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the midst of inferno, are not inferno, then make them endure, give them space.
Things we left behind.
ITA/ENG
Il mio primo bacio l'ho dato sulle labbra, ed avevo appena dieci anni.
Da quel giorno cambiò tutto. Non riuscivo a spiegarmi come mai avessi scelto proprio una mia amichetta. E' pur vero che eravamo dei bambini, e quel bacio solo un semplice gioco. Ma scattò qualcosa in me per cui compresi l'orribile incubo di ritrovarmi in un corpo sbagliato. La convinzione crebbe col passare degli anni, durante l'adolescenza quando con i primi fidanzatini mi accorgevo non solo di non provare attrazione fisica, ma addirittura repulsione. Fu allora che decisi di dirlo a mio padre. Da sempre ero stata la sua piccolina, mi amava e mi guardava come ogni padre guarda innamorato sua figlia. Non mi credette, pensava fosse uno scherzo. Gli dissi che avevo una ragazza e che gli uomini non mi interessavano, anzi avevo intenzione di far qualcosa per cambiare il mio aspetto.
Voglio tagliarmi i capelli gli dissi.
LI voglio corti.
Sei impazzita. mi rispose.
Tieni questi capelli che sono splendidi, lunghi neri come la notte e lisci come la seta.
Li ho tagliati ugualmente, senza badare al suo giudizio ed a quello di coloro che mi conoscevano fino ad allora come Naomi. Da allora li porto sempre corti, uso il gel per aggiustarmeli e creare pettinature alla moda, ma non ho ancora avuto il coraggio di andare dal barbiere in negozio, ho paura della reazione degli altri clienti.
Viene un amico a casa, fa il barbiere, e me li taglia come voglio.
Ho deciso di cambiare nome, ora sono Tony,
Antonio.
E' difficile vivere la mia condizione un quartiere popolare nel ventre di Napoli.
La gente si conosce, tutti conoscono tutti. Quando cammino attraversando la piazza principale ci sono ragazzi che mi sfottono e mi insultano. La loro è invidia, soprattutto perchè ho avuto fidanzate piu belle di quelle che possono permettersi. Il mio sogno è ritornare qui dopo esser diventato un cantante di successo e schiaffargli in faccia il nuovo Tony. Scarpe firmate da migliaia di euro, catene d'oro che si sognano e tutto un outfit che nessuno di loro potrebbe permettersi. Poco tempo fa ho girato il mio primo video clip, la musica che faccio è quella trap. Scrivo i testi dei miei pezzi di getto, quando sono triste, arrabbiato, felice. Durante le riprese del video clip la sensazione degli obiettivi delle video camere su di me mi esaltava. Mio padre mi raggiunse facendomi una sorpresa. Il regista si accorse di quest uomo in disparte che osservava curioso il set. Lo coinvolse in una scena a fare la comparsa. Lui accettò, pensavo lo fece per salvare la faccia quel giorno davanti a tutti.
CLAUDIO MENNA
Non era così, mi guardava con piu' dolcezza e meno stupore. Si è abituato pian piano a veder trasformare la sua piccola Noemi in Tony. L'intera mia famiglia ha accettato con grande maturità questa mia scelta. Siamo una famiglia molto unita ma anche molto tradizionalista e la mia confessione fu anni fa come una bomba lanciata tra la folla. L'unica che ancora ci spera in una "redenzione" è mia nonna. Dice che vuole vedermi in Chiesa con l'abito bianco e che un giorno ritornerò donna. Rido a crepapelle, in bianco mi ci vedo ma con un paio di pantaloni di lino ed una camicia a mezze maniche, come quelle nei video dei rapper, con occhiali scuri e la catena d'oro al collo. A vent'anni compiuti sono ormai davanti ad un bivio. Una scelta forzata piu che altro. Capire come iniziare un percorso di trasformazione totale del mio corpo. In Italia l'iter è complesso e spesso gli psicologi che ti seguono per i sei mesi di colloqui tendono a farti cambiare idea, un po' come con l'aborto. Siamo un paese troppo vincolato a canoni culturali superati. Nel caso non andasse in porto la cosa, ho il piano b, che pero' esige tante e troppe migliaia di euro che non ho. Iniziare il percorso di trasformazione fisica in un uomo all'estero. Cure ormonali, mastoplastica ed altre operazioni sono possibili ma costano un occhio della testa.
Vedo lontano il giorno in cui potrò dire di essere Tony a tutti gli effetti, e lasciarmi alle spalle Noemi, quella ragazzina timida ed impacciata coi maschietti, che faceva gli occhi dolci alle amiche. La mia musica parlerà anche di questo. Voglio aiutare chi come me deve affrontare una condizione di vita simile. Troppo spesso la società ghettizza persone come me lasciandole in balia di bullismo reale e cyber. Io sono forte e sopporto quasi tutto, ma chi è piu' debole di me potrebbe anche non farcela. Ho letto storie di adolescenti bullizzati dai compagni per il loro sesso, che sconfortati e depressi hanno deciso di togliersi la vita. Voglio dare voce alle decine di migliaia di Noemi che si nascondono e soffrono questa condizione, sociale e culturale.
Magari un giorno diventero' famoso e potro' ritornare nel mio quartiere da vincente. Camminero' nella piazza in cui sono stato abituato agli sputi ed agli insulti ed i gruppi di ragazzi che mi vedranno chiedendosi chi fossi diranno:
E' Tony uaju', è Tony King,
'o rapper...
"Things we left behind".
ENG.
I gave my first kiss on her lips, when I was only ten years old. From that day everything changed. I couldn't explain why I chose her, a very close friend of mine wich I was in love.
It's true, we were children, and that kiss was just a simple game. But it snapped something in me so I understood the horrible nightmare of finding myself in the wrong body. The conviction grew over the years, during adolescence when, with first boyfriends I realized to have not only any physical attraction, but even repulsion. That's when I decided to tell everything to my father. I had always been his little girl, he loved me and looked at me as every father looks, in love with his daughter. He didn't believe me, he thought it was a joke. I told him I had a girlfriend and men didn't interest me, in fact I was going to do something to change my appearance.
I want to cut my hair, I told him.
"I want them short".
"You're crazy". answered me.
Keep these hairs that are gorgeous, long, black as night and smooth as silk.
I cut them equally, regardless of his judgment and that of those who knew me until then as Naomi.
Since then I always wear them short, I use gel to fix them and create fashionable hairstyles, but I have not yet had the courage to go to the barber in the store, I am afraid of the reaction of other customers.
A friend of me comes home, he's a barber, and he cuts my hairs as I want.
I've decided to change my name, now it's Tony, Antonio. It is difficult to live my condition in Rione Sanità, a popular neighborhood in the belly of Naples. People know each other, everyone knows everyone. When I walk through the main square there are guys who cheer me off and insult me.
Theirs is envy, especially since I've had better girlfriends than they can afford.
My dream is to come back here after becoming a successful singer and slap the new Tony in their face. Shoes signed by thousands of euros, gold chains that you dream of and all an outfit that none of them could afford. A short time ago I shot my first video clip, the music I do is that Trap.
I write the lyrics of my jet pieces, when I'm sad, angry, happy. When we filming the video clip the feeling of the lenses from the cameras exalted me. That day my father joined me on set and was a real surprise to me. The director noticed this man on the sidelines looking curiously at the set. He involved him in a scene to make an appearance. He accepted, I thought he did it to save face that day in front of everyone.
It wasn't like that, since that day he looked at me with more sweetness and less astonishment. He's slowly grown accustomed to seeing his little Naomi turn herself into Tony. My whole family has accepted this choice with great maturity. We are a very close family but also very traditionalist and my confession was years ago like a bomb thrown in the crowd. The only one still hoping for "redemption" is my grandmother. She says she wants to see me in church in a white dress and also one day I'll be back as a woman. I laugh at cracks, in white I see myself but with a pair of linen pants and a half-sleeved shirt, like those in the videos of the rappers, with dark glasses and the gold chains around the neck.
I’m in my 20 now, and I’m in a crossroads.
A forced choice more than anything. Understand how to start a path of total transformation of my body.
In Italy the process is complex and often the psychologists who follow you for the six months of interviews tend to make you change your mind, a bit like with abortion. We are a country too bound to outdated cultural standards. In case it doesn't go through, I have a plan b, but it demands many and too many thousands of euros that I do not have. Begin the path of physical transformation into a man abroad. Hormonal cures, mastoplasty and other operations are possible but cost an eye of the head. I see far away the day when I can say that I am Tony in all respects, and leave behind Naomi, that shy and awkward little girl with boys, who made sweet eyes to friends. My music will talk about that too. I want to help those like me who have to face a similar life condition.
Too often society put people like like us in a mental ghetto, leaving us at the mercy of real and cyber bullies. I'm strong and I can handle almost everything, but those who are weaker than me might not even make it. I read stories of teenagers bullied by classmates for their sex, and them, distressed and depressed, decided to take their own lives. I want to give a voice to tens of thousands of Naomis who are hiding themselves, suffering from this condition, social and cultural. Maybe one day I'm going to be famous and I can go back to my neighborhood. I'm walking in the square where I've been used to spitting and insulting and the groups of guys who will see me will wonder who I am,
and they'll say:
He’ s Tony guys
He's Tony King,
The Rapper...
© Claudio Menna 2020. All righs are reserved